How can lovers be friends

That said, if you think that you and your former hookup buddy would be great friends, don't feel like you need to rush it. Be aware of any residual issues from the relationship, lingering sexual or romantic feelings, wishes to get back together, feelings of jealousy, and so on, which will interfere with friendship.

That way, you can make sure that you're both cool with how your dynamic evolves without sex. As Brenner says, it's totally possible to be friends with someone who was once a hookup partner, as long as you're both on the same page about sex no longer being on the table. On our social media feeds, we may come across friends sharing posts that encourage others to check in with those Counselling cases are unique.

However, sometimes they arrive in clusters — relationship doubt, divorce We use cookies to provide and improve our services. By using our site, you consent to cookies. More details. All site Counsellor or psychotherapists Events Search. Searching for a specific counsellor or psychotherapist? Try our advanced search. Relationship problems. Ok, so you've broken up! Good luck. Share this article with a friend.

Relationship problems Separation and divorce. Written by Marilyn McKenzie. Save profile Saved. That may be especially true if you were never friends before you dated, Sussman says. Sussman also says there are potential downsides to staying friendly with an ex. Are you giving the new relationship a [fair] chance to really flourish or blossom? Ashley Brett, a psychology researcher in her late 20s who asked to use a pseudonym to protect her identity , knows that struggle well.

After breaking up with her boyfriend of about a year and a half, Brett stayed friends with him — and fell into an on-again, off-again relationship that lasted for more than five years. Brett adds that repeatedly falling back on friendship allowed her to numb some of the pain of each breakup — which may seem like a good strategy, but can actually prevent future growth. The lines are murkier for couples without children, but Sussman says those who dated when they were young, were friends first, dated casually or were together only for a short time are good candidates for friendship.

And does it work IRL? Naturally, these rates increased hugely over time, explaining how — in numerical terms - a "six" can easily become a "nine" in a matter of weeks. They found that, on average, the couples had known each other four months before dating. Plus, 40 per cent of them were friends beforehand. So it makes sense that some of us are inclined to fraternise with friendship when both parties are of the same sexual orientation.

In fact, some of the best relationships often start out as friendships.